Sunday, March 15, 2009

so sad

One of the hardest things to deal with as a parent is seeing your child hurt, either physically or mentally. This week was a tough one. My daughter, who's a freshman in high school, spent the last 2 weeks in Cheerleader Boot Camp, in preperation for trying out for next year's squad. This has been a dream of hers for years! To be on the cheer squad and date the hot quarterback is her idea of the ultimate high school experience.

Even though it was never a dream of mine (far from it!), I supported her wholeheartly. She had to be at school at 6:45 everyday for the 2 week "camp", which meant getting up at 5:30 to get ready to leave by 6:15. She put her heart and soul into these practices and did everything that was asked of her.

They had to make a poster with a picture of themselves and words like "I'm enthusiastic!" They had to be interviewed by the head cheerleaders, "What would you bring to the team?" They had to dress up for school one day to prove they were role models for the school. They had to make their own pom poms to show their creativity. My daughter did all these things and did them well and with 100 percent enthusiasm. I've never seen her try so hard and be so excited about anything. And you guessed it, she didn't make the squad.

The cruelest part of all, was the way they let the girls know the outcome of all their hard work. They were to go home and wait by the phone. If they made it, the phone call would be to the parents, asking them if their daughter could be kidnapped for the night (a sleepover) or a phone call to the kid, saying "sorry, try again next year". They had to have their bag all packed, just in case. I found this to be so humilating to the girls who didn't make it.

And the final worst of the worst parts was, 2 of her friends made it, and she was the one who talked them into trying out!

We had a few rough days, lots of tears and hurt feelings, but the kid is amazing. She's back to her normal, happy self - ready to take on the world again. I think it may take me longer to get over it than it did her. I wanted to fix it somehow, go to the school, talk to the principal, demand something! Of course, I couldn't do that, the girl was already humilated enough. So, life goes on, we survived.

If you read all of this, my blogging friends, thanks for listening, this was a long post for me!

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Nina,

I'm sorry to hear about this. It sounds like Nikki is taking it in stride though. Give her a big HUG from me. :)

scoopy (Emily) said...

What a bummer for her! Hugs!

Ann Marie DiVecchia said...

Sorry to hear about the ordeal, Nina. As a mother of a girl (now in college) I can empathize. I think we feel their pain more than they do! I applaud her for hard work and her resilience and you for being such a supportive mom!

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Nina Crittenden said...

I can't imagine what that felt like for you or your daughter. Sometimes life can be really hard. Sounds like you have a pretty determined, resilient daughter. They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...

Glenda J said...

What a story... so sorry for your daughter. Great that she has a supportive Mom.

Jannie aka Chickengirl said...

Oh boy. I can relate.

If you can believe it, I also tried out for the cheerleading squad. Looking back at it now, it was completely against my personality, but I loved to dance, etc. Needless to say, I also didn't make it. So I can understand the disappointment.

There is always next year, so I hope she doesnt give up. A big hug from me for sure.

Rhonda said...

Oh my gosh, this makes me so sad to read!! What a tough experience for her. It'll only make her stronger, but still tough to work through right now. Girls can be so mean sometimes. Good for her giving it her all though, it'll pay off someday!!

Maybe there's a reason her dream hasn't come true yet, maybe she isn't meant to date a quarterback cuz he wouldn't be the one to treat her right in the end and those girls running the cheer leading squad probably wouldn't be the best of friends either and she'd end up getting hurt even more in the long run.

I'm not ready for this kind of thing to happen to my girls. They're still young, but I know it will come soon enough.

Anonymous said...

You said it best Nina, it's tough on the parents! It's so great to have opportunities to have those extra hugs<>! Strong roots grow tall trees!

Dawn said...

Sad things are hard to watch when they happen to our kids. You did great though, Mom! Letting your daughter handle this her way was the perfect thing to do.

Anonymous said...

Oh Nina, I'm so sorry! It's so hard to watch your kids go through such things, isn't it? How lucky for your daughter that you care so much and love her unconditionally. How lucky for you, it sounds like your daughter is a confident young lady and has her priorities straight - she's not gonna let this crush her spirit. If she's anything like I was at her age, this will put a fierce fire in her belly, and she will amaze you with the person she will grow in to - which may surprise you both! :)

seattle said...

Sounds like there needs to be some changes in the Cheer process at Nathan Hale. That is not the right way to build up anyone.....the very opposite of team building. Nikki is beautiful and I think she is too good to be a cheerleader. It's not all it's cracked up to be anyhow!

Hugs to all
Heidi

Anonymous said...

OH geez... that "rejection" notice is just so tacky! Whose brilliant idea was that? Sounds like the cheerleaders need to learn some proper etiquette.

Sorry to your kiddo! I'm sure she'll do better next year, and afterall, high school rejection is soooo not the end of the world.

Anonymous said...

I read this a few days ago and felt sick for you and your daughter its sooo hard. So today my daughter came home in tears because she didnt make the lacrosse team she worked so hard all winter getting up on sundays at 7am to play in the winter league etc. she put everything into it. It hard to find the words to say to her. She is tough tho and I know she will be ok, it's me that might not be okay. I hate everyone at that school tonight.